Survival Guide: Mommy (or Daddy) is Sick

If you care for children, then you likely know the dreaded torture of getting sick and still having to be the main caregiver of all things. Before we get started, please know I'm very sorry you're even needing to read this!  Whether it’s a 24-hour stomach bug, the flu, or dreaded Covid, it's a fate no parent or caregiver wants to take on.

Here's the key to survival: being ready.

How can you be ready if you don't know when you're going to get sick? Prepare a "magic bag" (more on that below), build up your pool of friends or relatives to call on in your hour of need and follow these tips and tricks to get you through. The key to this day is to rest as much as you can while actively parenting.

Tip 1: Establish your routine for the day.

Establish your routine for the day. Tell your kiddo(s): “I am sick you are going to play and have fun on your own today. This way, I can get better and we can have more fun soon".

Add some more helpful stuff here. 

Tip 2: Bring out the Magic Bag

The magic bag is going to buy you hours of occupied time. It only takes about 10 minutes to set up, is full of things they've never played with and old friends, and will be absolutely key to surviving a sick day.

The magic bag is actually a helpful parenting hack for lots of scenarios, so we have a whole post on how to create it and how to use it.

Here's a few notes on how to use it specifically for a sick day: 

• You might be tempted to plop the bag down, head to the couch and say: "Enjoy, I’ll be the zombie under the blanket."  But that's not how to get the most value from the magic bag. You want to set it up for slow distribution and maximum quiet enjoyment (read: maximum recovery time for you).
• When you're healthy again, remember to replenish your magic bag supplies. 

Tip 3: Call for help.

For the later part of the day, call on a relative, friend, or neighbor that you trust. In the morning, send an SOS text and ask if they could take your cutie(s) in the later afternoon to play and possibly have them through dinner. This buys you extra time to rest, and removes the challenge of having to prepare dinner for the kids. Let the kids come home, have some screen time and go to bed at their usual bedtime. Or, if they're tired from their playdate, an early bedtime could always be an option. 

I know some people might not want your kiddo over because they are coming from a “germy” house. Or, you might be hesitant to send them off sharing germs. But if you are REALLY sick, you might need to do this to survive and you probably have people in your community you won't question the germ part and will be up for helping.

If that's not an option for you, have no fear - continue on to tip 3. 

Tip 4: Get outside for some fresh air. 

Outdoor time and water time (more on that next) are two beautiful options.  I used them when my kids were young and cranky. My mother always said either one of these would settle a fussy baby, and like so many other things she has taught me, this always held true. Now, it's time to use them so you don't get too cranky. 

What does your child like to do outside? Or, what do they like to do inside that can be brought outside? Be ready to introduce whatever that is as what's happening next.

Remind them again that you're sick, and you'll be watching so that they are safe but that you can't play today. I promise that your kiddo(s) will not just be ok having to occupy themselves while playing, they will actually be better off developing this skill set. So try to skip the mom guilt! When they come up to you and ask you to play (and they will), you'll have to remind them that you're sick and not playing today and  that is a-okay! In fact, it's a good thing that you're putting your needs first so you can get better.

While they play, your job is to find a cozy spot to supervise. This can be you curled up by a window watching them play or even go outside bundled in a blanket and lay down. Whatever works for you and your kid's safety needs. Get comfy and let them do their thing.

If they need encouragement to stay occupied, use a timer. Let them know that when it goes off, they can ask you a question if needed. This lets them know they can have access to you, but not every moment because you are resting to get better.

Tip 5: Water time.

Water time! This can come in many forms. The ages and temperament of your kiddos will help you decide what and how to use these tips. Water play can be things like:

• Bath time. Yes, even if it's 2 p.m. A warm tub of water and some toys can buy you a good 20-30 min stretch of sitting. If your kiddo needs to talk and you’re not up for it, put on some music and let them sing while playing. I like to go old school for kids music with Raffi. I find kids still love him! But use what works to keep your little singer happy.
• Pull a step stool up to the kitchen sink and let them have fun with sudsy water. You can even let them wash the dishes. You might be surprised how popular this activity can be. 
• Give your kiddo bowls of water and some spoons, and make a game of transferring the water from one bowl to the other. 

Water play in any form is great, especially at the end of the day. If you time it right, they can go right from getting wet to changing into PJs and getting ready for bed. 

Tips 6+: Ditch the #momguilt and embrace these instead.

Here are a few other pointers to help on a sick day. I hope that you can feel less guilt about following them since some expert wrote them in an advice article. Wink, wink. In all seriousness, the guilt that moms are heaping on themselves these days is astounding. Like Elsa says, let it go. Your children will be absolutely fine, and you can't help anyone if you don't take care of yourself.  

• Pajamas for everyone all day.
• Teeth brushing is optional today.
• More screen time than usual is a-okay. (If you don't want to do screens all day, remember that kids typically play best early in the day so save the screens for late afternoon if you can.)
• Cereal counts as a meal.
• Delivery 🚚  for food (or any needed supplies) can be a lifesaver and worth the extra expense on a sick day.
• Put the day’s supplies in a container and have it next to you on the couch so you’re not up and down all day. This might include: snacks and drinks for kids and adults, tissues paper towels, diapers, wipes, phone charger, laptop, change of PJs, and a garbage can.
• A blanket for picnic style meals and snacks.
• An earlier than usual bedtime is totally okay! If by 5 PM, you're spent, put the kids in bed. Let them watch a movie in bed, or listen to an audio story to bridge the gap. A night or two of disrupted sleep won't break your routine.  

I wish you well. I hope you've been able to read this while healthy and prepare your magic bag, and even if not, I hope you find the other tips helpful. Stay healthy and keep washing those hands. Good luck!